These are few words deciphering my inner feeling for that single person in my life whom I proudly indicated as a part of me and still do yet I failed to make it true…..
“It’s not that I don’t understand when you do something, just that I never let you realize that I’m not unknown from the fact. When I see those puzzled eyes, the muddled up words and the sweet lie in them; I can easily decipher what the truth is behind yet I keep quiet for the reason that you may feel guilt for not conveying & this I won’t like ever.
At times when you simply wonder how I can manage to maintain that carefree nature just like a small kid, it’s because you couldn’t ever look deep into me, a person who may be far mature than what you are today. You may pass through me thinking I’m still not grown up to make out things but if you had ever turned you must have seen the both mixed emotion of sadness & happiness in my expressions, sadness for you’ve never allow me to be a part of your life & happiness for you are happy in your life.
I never reacted like that doesn’t connote I’m not. Yes! I’m mature not because I’ve crossed the age of childhood but for the reason that I’ve taken every aspect of my life as an experience. Certainly I can heal your pains more likely in a better way than you rarely do for me. Though you never gave heed to the medicine of love which I offer to you rather for you it has been a granted piece of care and understanding. You preferably went in search of someone else. Still I kept silent with a belief that someday when nobody would be able to soothe you I could be there for you but the unlucky me you’ve always got anyone except me.
You have learned to move on in relation and here I value you like I did from the first day I entered your life and you hold my hands so delicately that I may not get hurt.
Today if you ever hold them again and ever allowed me you would’ve known the real me, for EVEN I’M MATURE!!”
I couldn’t ever gather enough courage to say this and make you understand myself but I always wished to express through my nature and behaviour. I’m sorry if ever I reacted the way I shouldn’t maybe I was kind of envious towards the people who became your life and not me. However, my love never meant to hurt you, I always wanted to protect you not to interfere in your personal life.