Blogging

I took a decision, a little to surprise you all and a lot more to surprise myself. It feels somewhat weird to tell but I am writing this as my last blog post.

As I am telling this, I can’t help recalling my first one and followed up many. That even reminds me of my friend comparing his numbers with mine. And every time he said that, Sorry but I laughed at your cute reaction. Honestly numbers don’t count. They never did. And I am big fan of your writing, you sure know that.

Well, I am certainly not here for a big farewell boring bid-bye post. But yes I would like to thanks for making me smile and encouraging me every time by giving those reviews and suggestions. I am even glad to have found some really sweet readers on my blog, one of them turned out to be pretty nice friend too. This guy is himself a blogger. (You can check his great blog -> https://mymindsjournal.com/ )

And not to forget; each one of you who has been reading my posts, taking out your little time, it truly meant a lot.

I began this journey with no hope really and probably I am leaving the journey mid way with really no hope of coming back. But I’d like to clear that my decision is not out of depression struck situation. Life has been pretty awesome to me always. Yes I have problems like everyone else. But my bonding with my problems are little weird and kind a silly. I guess mine loves me so much that it never leaves me but also makes sure to never hate me. It simply is my all time go-along-forever kind companion. We both can’t live without each other.

I personally believe blogging is about expressing yourself by your words. You convey your thoughts, your ideas, your imagination and anything or maybe everything through words.  It’s like your words is forming your own identity. They describe you in their own way. Writing helps you connect with others and more of it with your own self. And blogging is one of the best experiences I ever had. It gave me a platform where I can speak and be heard and grow.

I am leaving because for me it’s no more about words. Sadly I realise my words don’t connect anymore. Or rather I should say the more I try to express, the more of it creates distance. Before it further creates a different identity of mine, I want to accept that silence is what I need.

“Yours words should be your best friend but not a forced burdened relationship.”

I and my words don’t share the same bonding now. It has become like a complicated marriage and probably would take a long time to recreate those old beautiful ‘us’ feeling. Might be I am playing the selfish one by taking this decision of being apart. Hopelessly, I had no other choice.

So not much more left to say I just want to end this by saying few words unsaid…

(Small pause for those who shall miss me :P)

Whatever and however I have been, I am glad I was there. I am glad you welcomed me and it happened. Probably you’ll not remember me as a blogger. But I will never forget my readers and their love. My existence was from you all. Today if I am leaving, it’s because something shouldn’t stay once it has lost its real meaning.

But yeah, you all amazing bloggers out there- Keep blogging and rocking. I am still there as your active reader. Even I am waiting for two of my sweethearts to start their blogs soon. I can’t wait to read yours too. And my dear cute friend you get a chance to increase your numbers now. LOL!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Missing him

As her hands pressed harder against the glass of large window, she kept watching the empty roads on a Sunday morning. It was 4:00 am and her sleep driven eyes weren’t blinking a bit. She couldn’t sleep the complete night. His thoughts didn’t let her. He was missing since the whole day.

She turned supporting her back on the adjacent wall, and her eyes fell on those neatly kept white sheets and pillows on bed. Her tired muscles urged for rest.

She walked slowly to reach there. Mid way her mind dejected to relax and she picked her phone kept on table beside the bed. Her fingers quickly dialed his number again.

His number was unreachable throughout night, every time she tried calling him. But this time it did ring a bell.

Her heart beat increased with every ring. The call ended unanswered, leaving her in dismay.

Before her mind, it was her heart to react. Her tears rolled down on her pale cheeks and she went down on her knees. She curled up her body sitting next to her bed on floor.

In her silent room, she could only hear her sobs. They were loud enough for her fearful state of mind.

Her hands reached her bed sheets and she pulled them closer to her skin, trying to hide her face into them. Her sobs were still loud to be heard.

Before her heart, it was her mind to take up the decision. She dozed off.

“Naina” His voice whispered her name possessively. Her lips reflexively curved to smile a bit.

Her eyes shifted to gaze into his and his eyes stared her beautiful smile.

Breaking their stance, he pulled her up to stand still.

“What?” she asked while faking her anger.

“Good morning!” He replied as he took her into his arms. She smiled a little more. He kept adorning her smile yet again.

They lay down on bed together. They pulled each other closer.

Her anger disappeared. His smile appeared.

Her body leaned more into him and she could hear him inhale softly.

She rubbed her nose on his neck as he hugged her tighter. His fingers moved into her hairs.

Her lips kissed his throat and she could hear him exhale deep.

She repeated her moves and his breathing turned harder. She blushed a bit.

She trailed down to his chest and felt his hand trace up on the sides of her stomach. She blushed more.

She closed her eyes and kissed him. He smirked and tickled her. They both laughed.

“Where were you?” She questioned trying to resist his laugh.

He remained quiet. She opened her eyes and looked up.

Her eyes scanned the silent wall, the empty bed and lonely room.

“Were you missing me?” she recalled his counter question. “Why would I miss you?” And she remembered her respond.

She rubbed her hand against the smooth silk sheets of bed.

“I don’t miss you. I miss your touch. “She had added teasingly. He had laughed more.

Her eyes shed tears and she hugged herself more. She heard herself crying a lot more.

“Still missing my touch!?” she heard a clear voice.

She turned swiftly to the direction of voice. It was his voice. He stood there.

Her eyes knew it was him. Her heart took few seconds to believe.

She still cried as he came closer and pulled her into hug, a tight one.

“I missed you!” she exclaimed.

He rubbed his hand on her back and her sobs trying to settle down in his warmth.

Her phone buzzed and mechanically she picked to keep it aside.

Her arms hugged her pillow tightly. “I missed you so much.” She said louder.

The screen displayed his number and the call was missed before she could read his name.

Love is YOU

You walked into my life. I wished it be love between us.

You were standing closer to me. I sensed what love could be.

You filled my heart with desires. I knew I was being in love with you.

Your hand gripped to hold on me. I accepted being loved by you.

You popped the bubble around me. I realized I was dreaming of love.

You emptied my heart. I hoped I’d love you for that moment.

 

You again came to protect me. I loved those reasons in your eyes.

You couldn’t stop from expressing. I felt bliss in your love.

You pulled harder to embrace me. I had let you re-fill me with love.

Your love was making me mad. I desired to fall in love again over again.

You were holding my hand. I adored how your love taught me to blush.

You meant love to me.  I was becoming you, my love.

 

Your life played a roll over love. I forced my lips to curve into smile.

You told you are breaking us. I didn’t ask nor needed any justification.

I said what we did was not just love. You gazed into my eyes once.

You had hidden your tears. I wanted you to know I believed.

You couldn’t tell you still loved me. I wanted you to know, I knew that.

You went bringing distance in us. I had to leave with whatever we shared.

 

You got drenched in rain. I thought of us watching the rain.

You cried apology on sky. I was touched by gust of wind.

You weren’t there or near anymore. I knew love was forever, in our heart.

Your love happened for many reasons. I couldn’t let it end just for any reason.

You had decided to live without love. I searched you to live our love.

 

You happen to bump into me.“It’s just not love” I remembered my words.

Because whatever you and I did, was beyond love!

 

For you meant love to me.  I became you, my love.