Seventh of July, is a special day coz it belongs to two of my dear ones. Rather I should put up ‘dearest’ instead of just dear. For now I’d like to only mention about you, Mami. I am sure my crazy brother sharing the same date of birthday would be lazy enough to read this one. HAHA!

The day came up many times in past years but I never said this that you are lovingly beautiful part of my life. Yes, the need to express was felt today and I could not wait anymore after you had been so supportive throughout didi’s marriage. And yeah even because I realize sometimes we miss the chance. So, it’s better put in words.

You mean family to me, but the way sometimes you understand me without being said anything, it really amazes me. I share a bond with you not coz you are a relative to me, but I feel I can be my real self with you.

Mami you are an amazing aunt. Your calm and strong personality describes you the best. I have grown up being equally pampered by you and mama. Your care and guidance means a lot.

I adore you more every time when you do lil things and take care of me like a mother does. I adore you more each time when you share details with me like you do with your sweet daughter. I adore you more at all those times when you had asked me to stay back.

You truly hold a wonderful heart and you are indeed among my pretty ladies. Of course, above of all this, you are a great mother. Thank you so much for giving me my lil cousins. They are two sweethearts of my life.

Not to forget, you are an awesome English teacher. Maybe that inspired me more to write this one for you.

Wish you a very Happiest Birthday. Keep smiling!


Your little girl

“Why mummy is not waking up?”

The little girl asked horrified, to everyone standing around her. She was scared hearing those loud cries. She was hoping her mother to behold her tight and make her feel the warmth in those arms, where she always felt protective.
But she was unaware of the fact; her mother won’t be there anymore to wipe off her tears, to tickle her, to feed her food with her hands, to hold her tiny fingers and walk along, to scold her when she goes wrong, to lift her high in air and make her giggle.

Everyone there sympathized the little girl. They assured her, they will be there whenever she needs support. They wanted to give her hope and comfort.

My heart ached with the thought; she was too small to be told truth. I wished to pull her out of cries and crowd. I wished to say the truth aloud. If only all these people, now who are giving hope and comfort had shown that bit of care to her mother, she would have survived. Her mother would have not died, if they were there for her. But they let her cry and die.

I hope as she grew up, she know the fact, how much her mother fought for her and own survival against all these people. A day back, these were the ones blaming the girl for her mother’s worse condition. It was these people, who wanted her mother to bring up a boy and not a girl. She was obliged to listen them and ended up into risking her own life. Her risk led her to get entrapped by a painful disease, a disease against which she fought all alone, again. No one stood there to understand the pain going through her. Instead each one did things to make her journey of her treatment more painful.

Yes, I wanted to tell the little girl, her mother was a fighter. She had been a lady whose lips never stopped smiling. She had been someone who had always founded happiness in pain. And I wanted to say her, never let her sacrifice go in vain. You are the one who can keep her memories alive. You are the one who had always been her inspiration. And your existence even inspired me to write this piece of expression of her pain.

It’s been a year to the loss, but it could never be a past. Her laughter, her beautiful eyes and her care is still afresh in my mind. She not only meant the mother to that little girl, but had given equal mother-kind affection and love to me in my childhood. My heart wanted to reach her, support and help her. My words had tried to reach her many times. But my every effort was stopped from being expressed. Today while expressing them here, I know you won’t be reading it. But still with a hope, it may reach you, I am sharing it here. You always happen to hold that special place in my life and your little daughter; she was one of those wishes we wished together from falling stars. She will always remain as a sweet other you.

My tomorrow would be special!

Ek ladki hai deewani se

Apne janamdin pe woh chahkati thi

Hasti hasati sabko jeena sikhati

Us har pal mein khush raha karti thi

Par jaane anjaane kuch aisa hua ki…

19th may, 2007 she never expected that one single day would completely change her.  

The girl was calmly resting on her bed, when her mother joined to lie down beside her. The half asleep girl didn’t resist responding thinking her mother too wanting to have a nap, although the lady was here to talk about something, which meant a very important aspect of her life and even to her daughter.

“Dear I want to talk to you regarding a matter” her mother spoke hesitatingly.

The girl breathed heavily listening to her mother’s word. She felt she knew what was coming up next and turned to face her.

“Hmm…” she muttered in approval.

At-last the truth was revealed in front of her and the daughter went numb realising she was fool not to believe her weird dreams since childhood. Every time those incomplete visions haunted her mind she only sympathised herself saying it was one of her bad dreams. But that day she was left with no such choice.  She neither complained nor cried instead kept laid down near her mother motionless. Her ears continuously kept on hearing everything until her mother ended up to break into tears.

She knew couldn’t stay silent anymore for that every single tear was more painful than any hurtful truth. She couldn’t help but completely hugged her mother requesting her to calm down.

“Do you trust me?” Her mother questioned her weeping.

She wanted to know her daughter’s state of mind and she indeed got a small nod in approval. The lady knew it was tough to accept at that very moment yet she felt good the way her daughter tried to console her. She praised her little girl to react maturely though she never expected it. The girl was not so mature still knew to comfort by her soft words. However she didn’t know how to manage the turmoil, which was running within her. She so wished to cry all her pain out, holding her mother’s arms but she didn’t wanted to fall weak in front of anyone, not even her parents.

Standing in the balcony the girl was simply looking at the sky which was slowly turning up all cloudy. Surprisingly, it was supposed to be a very hot summer day though it didn’t seem to be.  She was known for her emotional and naive nature. Her father had always scolded her for shedding tears in a fraction of second whenever she was hurt. But that day had already mark a change in her as she was trying her best to hold the pain caused from those traumatising words, hiding them behind her chirpy and adorable smile from the world outside.

She walked down to the street accompanying her sister for some shopping.  Her mind was busy chit chatting although her heart wanted to weep inside. Yet she refused for she didn’t find the place & time to be correct.  Her dear God proved to be her best friend that day for giving her a moment to feel few tiny droplets on her cheeks. She stood silently in the middle of the road as those tears of clouds were drenching her. Every passerby asked to her stand under the shed but she was busy admiring the rain, which was crying on behalf of her.

The days passed & she moved on with time. She never let those words of her mother affect her life and always celebrated everyone’s happiness cheerfully. But deep inside she never liked to enjoy her own happiness. She still feared to accept that truth. She wished to fight with her destiny and completely erase it off.

Years later she couldn’t change anything but once again she learnt to celebrate every moment of her life not just for others but for her own self. The reason behind her pain doesn’t matter to her anymore as she knew she can forego it. She wanted to enjoy with her loved ones, who mean precious to her.

Today, that same girl is sharing this with a hope to celebrate her birthday tomorrow like the way she had loved doing in her childhood. Yes, another time I would be crazy enough to make this day not only special for me but for even the people who are related to me. 🙂