Blogging

I took a decision, a little to surprise you all and a lot more to surprise myself. It feels somewhat weird to tell but I am writing this as my last blog post.

As I am telling this, I can’t help recalling my first one and followed up many. That even reminds me of my friend comparing his numbers with mine. And every time he said that, Sorry but I laughed at your cute reaction. Honestly numbers don’t count. They never did. And I am big fan of your writing, you sure know that.

Well, I am certainly not here for a big farewell boring bid-bye post. But yes I would like to thanks for making me smile and encouraging me every time by giving those reviews and suggestions. I am even glad to have found some really sweet readers on my blog, one of them turned out to be pretty nice friend too. This guy is himself a blogger. (You can check his great blog -> https://mymindsjournal.com/ )

And not to forget; each one of you who has been reading my posts, taking out your little time, it truly meant a lot.

I began this journey with no hope really and probably I am leaving the journey mid way with really no hope of coming back. But I’d like to clear that my decision is not out of depression struck situation. Life has been pretty awesome to me always. Yes I have problems like everyone else. But my bonding with my problems are little weird and kind a silly. I guess mine loves me so much that it never leaves me but also makes sure to never hate me. It simply is my all time go-along-forever kind companion. We both can’t live without each other.

I personally believe blogging is about expressing yourself by your words. You convey your thoughts, your ideas, your imagination and anything or maybe everything through words.  It’s like your words is forming your own identity. They describe you in their own way. Writing helps you connect with others and more of it with your own self. And blogging is one of the best experiences I ever had. It gave me a platform where I can speak and be heard and grow.

I am leaving because for me it’s no more about words. Sadly I realise my words don’t connect anymore. Or rather I should say the more I try to express, the more of it creates distance. Before it further creates a different identity of mine, I want to accept that silence is what I need.

“Yours words should be your best friend but not a forced burdened relationship.”

I and my words don’t share the same bonding now. It has become like a complicated marriage and probably would take a long time to recreate those old beautiful ‘us’ feeling. Might be I am playing the selfish one by taking this decision of being apart. Hopelessly, I had no other choice.

So not much more left to say I just want to end this by saying few words unsaid…

(Small pause for those who shall miss me :P)

Whatever and however I have been, I am glad I was there. I am glad you welcomed me and it happened. Probably you’ll not remember me as a blogger. But I will never forget my readers and their love. My existence was from you all. Today if I am leaving, it’s because something shouldn’t stay once it has lost its real meaning.

But yeah, you all amazing bloggers out there- Keep blogging and rocking. I am still there as your active reader. Even I am waiting for two of my sweethearts to start their blogs soon. I can’t wait to read yours too. And my dear cute friend you get a chance to increase your numbers now. LOL!

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

 

Gabriela

Past few days had been painful, as sickness took over my body. I felt weak and I hated this feeling.

I missed my loved ones. I wanted them to hear them, to be with them. Wouldn’t they too be missing me? I wondered. I won’t want to worry them.  Still I wanted to let them know- a lot!

My mind felt lost in the pool of thoughts. I wanted to overcome it- the fear, the weakness. I wanted to relax my out raising heart beats. Three glasses of water down my throat and I presumed it would wash off my brain. But sadly nothing such kind of thing happened. I still felt low.

I walked to my room, and sunk in my blanket hoping to doze off. Rather swiftly the low feeling turned into painful, as the pain hit my abdomen and pelvic area. I realised I shouldn’t force my body and go slow. I curled up my knees and tried to relax my muscles.

Pain and love goes together, it’s said. And at this moment I recalled my love and our forever moments. I still seemed blank as my nervous system wasn’t able to understand my emotions.

Something out of sudden hit my mind; I knew it followed up with the urge to hold the pen in my fingers. They wanted to write my thoughts.

Thinking of every possible thing that could lighten up my disheartened condition, I recalled of my past days. It was strange how time changed me into stone, which is meant to be silent. I wanted to speak, I wanted to scream. I wanted to express. And most of all I wanted to write. I had loved writing. And don’t know but that reminded me of you.  Maybe cause I saw the same love for writing in you.

Yes, you acted as a dose to my emotions, allowing them to be expressed.  Reading your words, your heart; it felt connected. How and why? I simply don’t know.

You were lost then, I realised. You aren’t there anymore, I sadly admitted.

“You are so sweet. And we would meet” I remembered your sugary replies. They left me diabetic. Yeah, I missed our short but cheerful conversations. I miss smiling like a kid whenever I saw your comment, as if I got my desired toy. I surely miss that toy in you.

I realised I wanted to have you there once again. I know it’s selfish of me to demand you, just for me. But I wish I could talk to you again. I hope I could tell I am concerned about you and confirm your well being.

Some people meant nothing to you yet they give so much to you. You were the encouraging element to my excitement to express. No wonder you played a role to always boost up that willingness to express more and more. I miss expressing myself.

Just once, I want to make you read this, my dedication to you. For you are unknown yet my own Gabriela. Cheers to our writing!

P.S.  http://cribbings.wordpress.com/  check hers!