Forsaken: love taken for granted

Sometimes we take love and relations for granted and Tanvi did the same mistake. She presumed nothing can separate them. Not even distance.

“You have no right to disrespect someone. “ She was harsh. She stood against her love, the love without whom her life was meaningless.

Her love was her brother Niket, her best companion. They had shared a complete life like the best of friends.

Niket, being a brother yet he had forever cared like a life partner. He was someone who completed her existence.

The girl who was fuming in anger, she wasn’t aware someday her love shall leave. All the years she had been selfish as he lived a life which was always about her, everything he did was surrounded by her happiness.

As her brother decided to leave and to begin to live his own life, that relates only him, the girl knew she couldn’t stop him. But she could not even thank him enough for giving a blessed dream-like-life.

Tanvi knew she had to let him go. She could not be anymore selfish to hold on him for own happiness. The happiness she never deserved because he had sacrificed so much throughout his life, only for her smile.

She accepted that it would be no more of him who’ll be sacrificing. This time, she’ll sacrifice. And she sacrificed her love, which was him, by letting him move on. She bid him bye with a smile.

She comforted herself by the thought that it was no separation but distance. She was happy for he and everyone else was happy with his decision.

Lately, She realized her life lost its reason and her only survival was her parents. She was never so close to her parents, like him. Having him by her side she never needed them much. But parents being parent, they had always been supportive in spite of her many faults.  She owes them and after him,  their happiness was her duty.

After long, today he was standing there in same house. She was supposed to be happy on meeting him. But her happiness was short lived when he reasoned he had come to raise a finger on their parent’s doings. He was under influence or misunderstood, she wanted to find the root cause.

“You have to trust for they care for you.” She said explaining him again over again.

The conversation went cold and it turned to be an argument, a huge one.

“If you can’t you may leave this house. “ She barked.

She was being rude and she knew was wrong to insult him. But she was playing the role of a daughter.

In her past, she had went against anyone to support her brother, even if that ever meant to disobey her parents. She loved him the most. But in her present, situation has changed.

She was alone and left with no option but to be against her own love. She ought to prove the sister wrong and the daughter right.

She had to ensure to support them, for they had forever cared so much for the person she loved the most, that was him, and she could not them down. Also she could not deny, it was them, who was mere reason he had entered her life once and gave her such beautiful memories.

Her words being said, she didn’t mean intentionally to hurt him but she happened to do that. She was ready for the punishment. But she didn’t know his reaction would be much harsh than the punishment.

He stood up to walk, leaving her dumbstruck. Her heart ached. Many thoughts rushed up in her mind raising the turmoil within her. Her parents objected and tried to stop him.

Her eyes met with him and she saw hatred in his eyes. She too hated herself.

She heard her mother devastatingly fell down. She saw her father in tears. They were hurt by his behavior. Every deed they did was in his concern and he was acting like strangers.

“I just wanted to let you know, your actions are destroying my new life” he spoke with no emotions.

She wanted to shout too loud and she even wanted to cry more loudly. The truth was reality had struck and she no more holds on the right on him.

She turned to calm herself.

Her trust on their bonding was broken as he left the house without even a single word. He didn’t care to tell or ask anything.

She heard her father worried. His brother was doing sick and he had left empty stomach. She wanted to run behind and search for him. She couldn’t. Her mother who had done that on her behalf too could not find him. His phone being disconnected and out of her reach. She lost him, she lost her answers she needed from him.

She realized she deserved none. He did right.

She was silly to assume worse can happen but it won’t affect them. They’ll be angry but won’t apart.

She had tended to change the situation by trying to explain him. But it was all in vain. She was no more a part of his new life.

She didn’t knew, he doesn’t need her or her complaint anymore. She didn’t know it was not him but life has affected their bonding. And it was better she change as the changed life demands her to accept the hard. She knew it was going to be tough.

She consoled her parents after getting to know about his whereabouts from someone else.

Her brother had taught her to be strong. She didn’t want to fall weak but she could not stop herself from crying silently in her pillow in the night hours. She cried not because it was hard to accept but because she couldn’t change her feelings. It still says, nothing else matters for she loves him.

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The Date!

Some days occur in our life, only to bring a change. A big one!

It had to happen; we said we were prepared. Just when the reality struck us, we knew those said words felt mere words. It was easier when put in words but hard to accept while making it happen….

Oh, yeah we finally found your man, my lovely sister. My heart overflowed with emotions when I was standing next to my parents, watching them shed tears of happiness. The boy’s parents were congratulating them over phone. I quickly came to hug you tight, not letting you go, at least for the moment.

I knew I had explained myself hundredth times that I had to let you go to live your own life. I readily accepted the fact too. But while performing every task, in every action, at every steps, for every work; I realised my life would be empty without you. Yet I was happiest for I had already got more than my share from you. We have together lived so many years, sharing wonderful moments and also you had nurtured me helping me grow up responsible. I now can live my complete life strongly, memorizing us forever.

Instantly, I recognized, it was time for change.

I stepped back allowing the new family of yours, to stand next to you. I didn’t walk away but stood at front, glancing in your eyes. I wanted to watch you happily believe the change, while understanding I am still there for you, like always. I had to admit, you looked pretty with that glorious shine on your face, the slight glint in your eyes and the perfect beautiful smile.

I heard the loud voices, breaking my gaze, and I saw everyone exchange hugs happily. Your Roka ceremony date was decided. I embraced myself in arms of Papa, while he gently placed his hand on my head. It caressed me and I surpassed my supposed weak moment with a smile strongly.

Your Soon-to-be Partner, gestured me to join along, pointing towards you. I noticed you both together as I smiled. I even had to admit, in him, I gladly found the lovable and sweet Jiju I was searching. I grasped in the fact, on a sweet note that he valued you and our bonding too. I thanked to all those stars, blessings, love; each one has poured into my life. They have made my life astonishingly perfect.

14th February, The date was perfect for beginning of new start of a new life of yours. I delightfully engaged myself in preparations.

I acknowledged it was time for making that change happen. I wanted to live the change and make it splendidly magnificent for us.

And whilst living the change, I knew I even wanted to make it inseparable. I could not resist sharing.

Today, I typed it. Tomorrow or in future, I know you’ll sure read it with that lovely smile of yours.  

2015- start of an important phase!

Amidst of all the chaos, I sat on my chair, while my eyes getting hypnotized by the bright light emerging from computer placed in front of me. My hands seem to be tired from typing and shoulders aching from no movement position since an hour.

Oh, that feeling of having a break. But then there was this need of staying busy and engage myself. I knew if I sat idle, I would end up think upon things, I would be then frustrated and not able to focus.

My mind thought of continuing the work. It paused for I felt tired. I never get bore of my work, but here I was complaining of being tired of doing my work.

There was a reason behind that complaint, I made. I enjoy work, until it gives utter satisfaction. I love doing work when it’s considered worth it.  Not when one knows the work you are doing is completely useless and you are forced to do it the way, it shouldn’t have been.

I realized these factors were fitting in my current situation. I wanted to do it otherwise. I wanted to do something productive. I felt irritated out of sudden. My hands stretched to pick up the glass of water kept at a distance. It was empty. Just as similar as my body felt to be at this moment, empty and stuck at some point, some place.

Maybe I should try to divert or change my mind, I thought. Change! The word struck me. It has affected a lot in my life.  Lots of changes had been brought, few had occurred naturally, and both of them had gradually resulted into forcing me to change. Do I still require a change? I felt confused.

I knew, I can simply call upon some friends and feel better. But wouldn’t that be a way to escape from reality. The real fact is I am not satisfied from my current situation. I made it look satisfying with my lets-keep-moving-on nature; just for the sake I had no option. But I couldn’t deny this wasn’t what I wanted. I felt I was worth much more then it, or I wasn’t? I felt lost.

Now that 2015 has started, I know this year going to the most important year in my life. Big decisions are awaited to be made and need of taking them was urgent. I can’t delay. It’s a new year, a new start and I truly hope I move on and this time I really want to move forward and not remain stuck thinking if things would have been the way I wished. Not feel frustrated, confused or lost anymore.

“Make your present good, so that in future when your present becomes your past, you feel good about it”

With this new ray of hope, I wish all of you A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Keep rocking and smiling 😀

Regards,

Isha 🙂