Think! Thought! And thanked!
Think- From past few days I’ve been wondering what should I blog about.
Thought- My mind seemed to be completely blank as I couldn’t come up with anything.
Thanked- Just few hours ago when I was casually chatting with one of my friend, he came up with this challenge to me.
“Write the things you regret about in your life”
Honestly, it’s difficult penning down something like this and sharing it over here. Every human being is imperfect, which leads to making mistakes and once you do things wrong; you rarely get an opportunity to correct them. If talk about me, I am no different. Yes, normally people around me find me quite uncommon and crazy in comparison to others in the way I live my life and do things. But then that doesn’t mean I am completely a perfect-good-type person. Deep inside me I truly envy myself for the faults I possess in my character.
Indeed I have not been lucky always to get a chance, to put up right the blunders I’ve made. Rather sometimes I do not wish to accept it. Thus, I am still left with an option to ‘Regret’.
Damn! I can’t explain how much offended one feels while acknowledging this. It really needs you to collect lots of courage. I am actually now regretting to accept this challenge LOL! Nevertheless, I guess I can just simply assume it as- those things in my life which I wish to change. Positive thinking raises your comfort level in expressing. So, Below I am listing down those things:-
- First & foremost I regret my birth. I know many of you going to beat me hard for uttering this but I am being honest. That moment had given innumerable pain and tough circumstances for the couple, who struggled to give me this new life. It had forced them to take many daunting decisions in their life and make someone else suffer just to give me my true existence. I admit they did this for they love me and for that, Mom & dad, I owe you a lot. When I say a lot I mean much more than anything, even that life you gave me.
- It would be insane to say I regret for the moment I had fought with my loved ones. No! I never regret for that. As somehow they’ve bonded me with them in a stronger relation. But yeah, I truly regret for the harsh words I bash on them furiously. I never mean to be rude it’s just I am utterly bad when I am angry. And later I realize I am even more bad when it comes to apologise verbally. (I usually text them “a sorry” which is an easier option).
- Trust and promises when are broken it hurts. Surely, I am too guilty about when I failed to keep them safe. But then as I said I sometimes don’t want to accept. I do regret I couldn’t but they too should have understood the reason behind it; the fact that I am stupid enough to do madness, the truth that I am not the best person. If misunderstandings occurred I was not the only one enlarging them, it was a deed done together by us then why only I am the one who is left to suffer the pain of regretting. It’s unfair yet I had chosen regression and allow you to pass by me leaving me the way I was, before we had met.
- I regret when I am forced to do things beyond my wishes. Especially when it’s about being nice to the people who never deserved my goodness. Most awful, I couldn’t get a chance to shoo them off and make them realise they are worthless. Due to their presence in it, I perhaps would never rate my life best.
- Last but not least, the biggest regret when I fail to hide my faults. I am helpless to be careless about my own self but that’s the true me and I love being that. But when it’s known by someone, whom I care about, I regret yet can’t help being that. I can’t change until it’s related to improvising. The worst is when it bothers them and affects ‘our’ life, not just mine.