From past many days I have been wondering what to write as these days I find myself perplexed. My words they tend to stop mid way and I end up smiling to satisfy myself. But anyway today I forced my inner voice to let it come out.
Fear, the word itself makes one go frighten thinking of it. People fear many things which are indeed their weakness but sometimes in your life few things leaves a strong impact that they are said to be our fears though in real they are nothing but a perception of our mind.
“My love I have brought your favourite ice cream and…” her words went into silence as suddenly it went all completely dark. She touched the wall to find the switch board and lit the room but it wasn’t working. Power cut was not uncommon in their city. She sweated in fear, which would have been clearly visible on her features if darkness wasn’t spread over. Her feet mindlessly took steps backward and collided with the dining table. “Ouch!” she screamed with pain and catch hold of the corners to balance herself. Her hands touched a piece of paper which slipped from her to fall onto floor. She bent down to pick them and saw a dim light of moon making way in through window. Her mind strained her to find out to whom that paper belongs, as if knowing it meant the reason to this solely moment. It read….
“I never thought I would be so adamant to pen down this for I had no other choice… You left me disheartened. Even if I do anything I know it won’t make me feel better. I can’t express it. I can’t make anyone understand. Just know that I am leaving you like forever. Don’t expect me to come back to you. Stop me not!
Take good care of yours. “
She had herself written those words hoping to give this letter to his love. She had thought of doing this to separate herself. But would she would be able to survive without him, she thought. Then she was taken aback to hear her inner voice which felt like she had been staggered by someone “her survival was doubtful”.
Her doctor has handed over the reports to her saying “I am terrified. Would you be able to tell him the truth?” She was diagnosed with CANCER!
She woke up with a sheer mix of emotions to find herself holding the handset. It was just a dream, nothing else. “Cancer” the word belled as an alarm in her brain nerves. No, it should be only a dream. It’s not she feared death or pain… She feared her dream coming true which could leave her helpless. She envied her dream for she can’t bear separation. Damn, the thought of loosing him itself made her go crazy. She can’t let it become a reality. “Maybe your love made me selfish to owe my life forever for you” she uttered.
She saw the mechanic thing in her hand which read the words she had typed “I have Cancer”. A current of shock passed within and she threw it away fiercely. How could she even do this? The eyes in whom she always wanted to reflect happiness, she can’t make them misty by tears. There was ultimate silence and her ears could only hear the tick tock of the clock. It seemed to her as if the time is escaping away by every passing second. Her numb body struggled to move and feel alive. “I am fine”, she said sympathising. Walking straight outwards she scanned around to find everything alive near, making her sense real life. She went in her washroom and splashed water on her face. She stopped to breathe and saw her own image in mirror. It showed a weak girl, who had lost her grace. Her lips shivered to smile but it pained cause of blood flushing out, from those dry cracks. Pale skin, lines around eyes, dark patches, damaged and weak hair were all stating as if it’s the stage. She screamed loud at the truth revealing thing and ran away to squeeze in her bed. As her cries lowered down she realised she was alone on her bed.
“Ryan Ryan!!”The guy, who was busy attending call outside, in the main hall, went horrified hearing huge hue and cry. He rushed to their bedroom.
“What’s wrong dear?” he asked astonishingly grabbing her from arms. She didn’t wait to hug him tightly and spoke “I don’t want to die.” The words felt to him like he got his second death in the same minute. He questioned her for such lame statement. “I don’t want to die” She repeated again loudly. He wanted to comfort her but she wasn’t bothering to listen instead kept repeating those words absent minded. He couldn’t help but slap her to bring her into sense.
She opened her eyes to find rays of a new morning glooming the surroundings. The environment was pleasant and unlike before when she had closed her eyes in terror. It was morning and the girl was dreadfully shouting half asleep. Forcibly Ryan had to slap to wake her up. She saw her shadow in his eyes to still find herself as the most charming girl. She hugged her. This time a smile of realisation of truth appeared on her lips and tears in eyes for acting weak on getting engrossed into her fearful thoughts.