Confused ME!!

Everywhere I go or rather sign up in any social networking site there is a question which confuse me like anything and that’s – Describe yourself. I find it very tough to say something about myself. Today when I was simply going through all my profiles I have made till date, this thing stroke my mind again and again. Finally I decided that yes, lets better give a try. One shouldn’t run away from any sort of challenge.  I said to myself come’ n dear just bluff out like always you do. But I realized for me it’s no less than a hard phase.

Frankly I doubt that I know how I am or who am I or like why was I born? Maybe I am big confused girl on this whole earth who doesn’t know even the reason to her existence. Same is me and my life, a big confusion!

Anyways meet me Isha, a girl who is most pampered by her loved ones that includes my friends & family- My parents & elder sister. I am lovable to all, not the favourite. I am sweet but I am equally furious. I love to be cute n kiddo yet hot n sexy. I am very childish and another moment I react as the most mature girl ever. I am ambitious but yet I don’t know my real ambition. I admire simplicity yet try to be modest & fashionable. I am strong for others but weak for my near ones. I love being the way I am even though I try to enact others a lot. I guess my innersole is different from my outer appearance. I am cheerful still I suffer depression. I like fun and at the same time I am a serious girl. I do whatever I like. I am not a kind who is found in a fixed mood. Yes, one can say I usually get mood swings for I am never the same. Sometimes I fight or simply forgive. I am not short tempered but when I lose my temper than I’m very bad at controlling it. To accept challenge and struggle in life is my passion yet I prefer living simple life and fear things. I do not demand or have any expectations still I feel bad when they are not fulfilled. Most of the time I chit chat and listen aloud music although I love silence. I believe in true love but never had fallen in “love” for someone. I am practical however I live in my own imaginative life & dream world. To sleep is my favourite time pass however I never get one nicely. I am usually found busy on the contrary I have got no work. People find me good to be with in spite of that I am alone. I love being the way I am even though I try to enact others a lot. I guess my innersole is different from my outer appearance.

Apart from this If talk about my hobby I say its dancing, singing, travelling, reading love stories, chatting, writing like anything but none of these is what I do, rather just lay down like a nerd on my bed holding my course book. Maybe I am good at studies but not a scorer or in other words I am good as a teacher but poor as a student. I get remarkable comments for my disciplined nature and even uncountable complaints for being bad in cleanliness. I am irresponsible yet I carry and perform many of them. I am foodie but hates cooking. I am smart though possess low ranks as in personality. Sports, arts, science, etc I admire talent but good at nothing. To tell of my favourites is another mystery for it totally depends on my mood. I love nature but too lazy to explore it most of the times. I hate history and ancient stuffs though I got passion to research on them. I am fond of photography but avoid to get photographed. I adore chirpy babies but bad at handling them. I hate it when people consider me as their friend, bloody if I’m being good to you doesn’t mean we are supposed to be friends. Crazy! I can’t even hurt them by saying the truth. Another thing I hate is when someone so close to me, misunderstands me and then instead of clearing it stops talking to me. Never mind next I do is keep pleading to begin the talk. Further I hate bad smell still I manage to resist to survive in it, if required.

Precisely I love everything but I even hate many things lol. Funny isn’t it? But that’s me.

From the very beginning till now the word “I” has ate up my mind. To be honest I hate to use it and that’s a big reason I avoid this topic for I know that this “I” would force me at its extreme level. Silly! Even my name starts from the alphabet “I”. Being a Leo (sun sign) I am known to be a proudy and egoistic girl nevertheless I won’t wish to be of such kind.

Its true nobody can explain themselves at its best in any words from whole of the dictionary because a person withstand a very profound and inquisitives qualities. Yes, everyone knows them the best. No-one else can know you more than you yourself. But for me my god-the almighty knows me the most even more than I could ever understand myself.

 Last but not least I am satisfied yet needs to improve. I cry for a confused state of my mind yet I live & love happily.

 

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6 thoughts on “Confused ME!!

  1. It’s true that it’s difficult to describe our true self in words we know! But I must say you define and describe yourself honestly and in simple manner! You said, “I can’t even hurt
    them by saying the truth.” I suggest that you should say what’s in your heart…..something that you really wanna say..! People would love to accept you the way you truly are! You don’t have to pretend you are happy and satisfied…believe that you are special and then see the changes around you that you have made!
    🙂

    Like

    • Hey! You are so quick in reading the posts. Impressive.
      Btw glad to know you liked it and yes, even i believe it. In fact i had always listened to my heart but as i said I’m the most confused girl so sometimes i do get confuse lol!

      Like

      • You know the whole content points towards a phenomenon known as ‘existentialism’. In this state, a person oftenly questions his existence. Questions like, “Who am I? What am I doing here? What’s my ambition? What’s my purpose of life? What if I live my life this way or that way?”
        Very few people think of such questions as very few are the ones who truly wanna be curious about everything they experience! I, too, question the same way but I find most of the answers! I hope you find your answers too 🙂

        Like

  2. my friend told me he was reading interesting story on this website and told me to read few day back. I read this and am mesmerized by the simple way you describe your true feelings. Very innocently,you say things that people now days don’t agree. Thanks for writing and sharing. I will surely read more soon,when free.

    Like

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